Vision In Blue

Buzzfeed had a feature "19 Important Struggles Only Marmite Lovers Will Understand"  [if you click that link please do come back here after!]. Number one on the list really does sum it up... never get anyone else to make your marmite on toast unless you've given them specific instructions and supervised them at least once! Since I can remember my family and I have gone to a little cafe in our local shopping centre. It used to be a sort of tradition. We'd get to the car park early to get a space that wasn't six floors up and then go to the cafe for breakfast before the shops opened. I remember going there and having a strawberry milkshake but I can't for the life of me remember what I ate... I guess it's just something about those Crusha milkshakes! When I got to a certain age where my parents were uncool, and all I wanted to do was stay in my room, we stopped going. At that point there was only so much shopping I could do in Marks and Spencer ...

It's the cry of my people... cast off your shackles of shame... we shouldn't have to hide our random conversations! I talk to inanimate objects, the air, to you wonderful invisible people. Sometimes I do feel like I get more sense than when I talk to actual human beings, but I think that's mainly because I can voice anything I want and no one judges me... at least not to my face. When I'm at work my computer and I frequently have heated discussions about how it's ruining my day, most often that it should know I didn't want to press that button. As if a deliberate act of retribution, it slows down so much that I can watch my words type like some ghostly echo of myself. And of course every time the phone rings you have to express your disgust. At home I have conversations with characters on the TV. It is not my fault they don't listen to me... so many horror movie characters would be alive if they did. Of course some of them do... I frequently advise the p...

Some days you just need that one thing, the one thing that gives you that warm fuzzy feeling. Now, if you thought I had trouble with favourite lists before... this one is going to put the others to shame. I love food, I love to cook it and I love to eat it. It amazes me how I still manage to enjoy a lot of foods even thought there are so many things I don't eat [and shouldn't eat]. Spanish, Mexican, Chinese, Thai, Caribbean. I'm game for most cuisines to be honest. The only things I wont see on my list any time soon are creepy crawlies, squelchy things [octopii etc] and a very wide selection of vegetarian dishes. I suppose this is essentially the last supper discussion isn't it? How would you cut your list down? Just refine it. It's not about the gourmet dishes [most of the time], it's those every day things that make you smile. A toasted sandwich - But it's not that simple. It has to be made, HAS, to be made in a Breville sandwich toaster. The edge...

All these lists of characters I've been making have got me thinking about all sorts of possible lists... so the next one... and possibly the last for the moment... is my movie friends - people I'd love to hang out with and just generally have a great time. PC Danny Butterman - I think I've made it fairly clear I think he's freaking awesome... I'm going to sit down with that man, have a movie marathon and share a box of cornettos with him. I suppose it'd have to be the blue ones even though I prefer the green. Karen Walker - Or Anastasia Beaverhausen, this one would have been more sensible when I used to drink! Sit in her fantastic apartment, have a bit of banter with Rosario and play in the giant closet. Ahhh shoes... of course in this dream land I have tiny feet that would fit in all those shoes! Barney Stinson - I'm not sure what the suit up equivalent would be for a woman but I think I'd go with a swish cocktail dress. We'd hatch some ela...

Of course after my favourite geeks I had to contemplate the movie maniacs, because everyone truly loves to hate the baddie. Again there were too many... I had some obvious ones, The Joker - both original (and by original I mean Cesar Romero) and new, Hannibal Lecter in the new series and Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove - but lets be honest he's probably the least villainous villain ever. In not particular order, as always, here are my love to hate baddies... Jack the Monkey - Pirates of the Caribbean - That cute little bugger has such a twisted side to him. Jaws - James Bond - To me he's a bit of a lovable oaf. You have to admit that you felt kind of sorry for him when he got picked up by the big swinging electromagnet. Bless him, he can't help not having a good dental plan. Harry & Marv - Home Alone - They're like the Pinky & The Brain of real life villains. Marv with his childlike glee and Harry with his flaming head. You really couldn't...

So I've had my old lady moan about TV so I thought I'd take a swing at computers too. We take it for granted now but it wasn't that long ago that a computer in your home was nearly unheard of. It was a family event when we got our first computer. It was an off white/grey slab, with a small boxy screen with terrible graphics [by today's standards anyway]. I'd only ever used a computer at school which operated a turtle that moved around the classroom floor. That was even less advanced with a DOS style screen with illuminated green writing. At home we'd sit around the computer and take it in turns to play minesweeper. As a child I either wrote by hand or I wrote on my very own typewriter. How many kids now will recognise one of those? I suppose they might accidentally stumble across an episode of Murder She Wrote. I can't remember what the exact computer we had was, but I would lay money on the fact that the phone I carry around in my pocket has more powe...

Event days abound, a month of celebrations. Many daft but fun. Today is haiku day... evidently. I really hope what I wrote above is a haiku! I was searching for event days that were related to work and came across a wonderous selection of random national days... which nation I don't know but that's besides the point if there's some fun to have. I came across lots so I filtered out my favourites, I haven't looked at all of them for the official story, partly because if they don't match up to the expectation in my head I'll be really disappointed! Even though this month is mostly over I'm going to go over the whole thing. I'll put the dates in brackets... but please, if you want to go out and celebrate in a big way check the dates because some conflicted on different websites. Chocolate Mousse Day [3] I really hope that apart from the obvious celebration of chocolate mousse they have an annual competition where the winner is the person wh...

So... I was contemplating my favourite geeks in film and TV... as you do. I've come to the conclusion that this list will never be final... I will constantly change my mind. The first tricky thing was realising that splitting the geeks from the nerds and the know-it-alls was beyond impossible. Dr Temperance Brennan... know-it-all. Dr Sheldon Cooper... probably fits all three. Flint Lockwood... geek. Who knows?! The line between geeks and nerds is very fine in my opinion so I've decided there's no splitting them for fear I'd spend the evening arguing with my own choices! So here... in no particular order... are my favourite geeks, nerds and other know-it-alls. Dr Spencer Reid - Criminal Minds - By far one of my favourite... nerds?! Probably! Penelope Garcia - Criminal Minds - I want that woman's wardrobe and tech-savvy. Q - James Bond - Now I'm using this as the general covering for the "tech guy" from Bond, as I'm sure we could also argu...

So a life hack is something that is designed to make your life easier... but not just that, it's something you'd never thought of for that purpose. Some are so simple I can't believe they've never occurred to me, and others are a bit far fetched but I'll never be able to try them to find out. So here are a few I've tried, tested and approve. Turning my phone on to flight mode to charge DOES speed up the process... of course it also means you miss calls! Folding in and then rolling up the bottom of a large bag of crisps DOES work as a replacement for a bowl. It also means you don't get flavouring all over your hand when you dip in. Folding a fitted sheet so all the corners go together and lay flat... GENIUS... by far my favourite life hack, I hope at some point there's a life hack on how to GET a life. Cutting circular sandwich fillings in half and lining the edges of the bread with the cut sides... well duh! I've been doing that for years, I...

Not the chocolate kind I'm afraid! While on one of my frequent procrastination breaks I came across some fun bit of the internet. It just amazed me that people spend the time creating these little internet special features. When I found a few I went searching for more and below are some of my favourites... Vogue.co.uk - press the following > up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, hold A... release for a nice surprise. The same works on GQ.com but it's not as fun. Do it on Buzzfeed.com for some trauma! Google search - "do a barrel roll" Google images - "atari breakout" Google search - "askew" or "tilt" Google search - Six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Search for any actors name followed by "bacon number" and it'll show you how to connect them to Kevin Bacon. Google search - "google in 1998". The first result will take you to a little gem. Google search - "blink html" Youtube - "do ...

At the moment I'm not that bothered by dating in general. I've never really enjoyed online dating as it isn't very spontaneous. But... I still use the apps... mainly to try and find friends and neighbours so I can have a nosy and a bit of a giggle. Tinder became the latest craze and a couple of my friends have got it too. After a while you all develop your own strategy when it comes to choosing Tinder candidates... here's a quick guide to mine... - If you know them/know of them click YES. It's a talking point if it comes up a match. If they come to you and say "I see you clicked yes" you can either admit it or, if your intention was to take the piss, say... "I just clicked yes because I thought someone should so you didn't feel rejected." Of course you say it in a really sensitive way! Or "so you want to get me in to bed?!" Much banter to be had. - When you load your profile it gives you the option to adjust the photo and centr...

Everything changes. I had my little TV ramble and now I'm going to have a music ramble. Back in my day if I wanted to listen to music on the go I had to clip my walkman to my belt... and take a big bag to hold all the cassettes if I wanted a lot of variety! 90 minutes of music, with an interval of course, that was all we got in one session. I do remember records but the cassette tape was very much my medium. I can remember my first few singles, all of which were on vinyl, Barcelona by Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Caballe, Kylie... I think it was I Should Be So Lucky and Luciano Pavarotti's Nessun Droma. I know that's a very odd mix there. I started to get cassettes roughly around Now 23 and branched out in to Take That. Then the CD singles from Woolworths, Peter Andre, Babylon Zoo and a variety of Spice Girls. Of course my taste in music has got better... that is only my opinion of course. I now listen to everything from opera to heavy metal, and of course I've go...

... or in this case, quite some years. After my little "old lady" moment I started to think about all the things I remember... you know... from way back when. If I still owned everything I'd ever had, how much of it would be obsolete now? Have kids these days ever seen a black and white TV? We had two TVs, one colour of moderate size in the living room and a small black & white tucked away in the dining room. Mum and Dad always had most of the control when it came to the colour TV. I always remember watching TFI Friday on the little TV with a small [back when a small actually was small] Pizza Hut pizza. I'd have to adjust the dials [yes, dials children] to get a clear picture, which was always a problem if there was someone else in the room moving around. We only had four channels but there was always something interesting or fun on to watch. I mean ACTUALLY interesting, I don't remember any reality shows as they are today. Challenge Anneka was always ...

There are those moments in life when you realise things. Recently I've been reminded I'm getting old... I know I'm only 32 but I'm certainly past my youth at this point. I can specifically remember three incidents where my brain has gone "f*** you're old!" to me. The first when I was lined up to get in to a bar, it was cold and I'd got a coat, scarf and my gloves on, as had my friend. Two girls in front of us were wearing nothing but mini skirts and skimpy tops. That was the day I realised that this is what we used to look like on a night out 7 or 8 years ago. The second was while I was travelling on a bus. A group of tweenies were sat behind me playing music from their phone (that's a whole other old lady rant... and what ever happened to the personal Walkman?). They were playing a Take That song from when they reformed saying... and I quote... "Have you heard this new band they're awesome?!" That was the day I realised that ...