It's My Way Or The Highway
For years I said I'd learn how to drive but never ended up doing it. There was never a need to, everything was just a bus ride away. After a while driving became a necessity, and being old it took me a while to get the hang of it. But... evidently you can teach an old dog new tricks.
While I'm not precious about my car, I'm not going to take any crap from anyone in it. It's do as I say, not as I do. So there are unwritten rules in my car... although I may have to change that so that I can easily stop arguments.
Although the international law of "shotgun" is commonly accepted... follow this link if you're unfamiliar... this is not the case in my car. I have declared it independent and therefore do not have to adhere to these rules... apart from the pirate clause, that sounds awesome. So to summarise, non-pirate seat quibbling - I will pick the least irritating person to sit next to me... this may mean you have to sit in the back even if you're the only passenger.
Drinks with sports lids are allowed. Fast food cups are allowed but only when the car is stationary and the person holding it must be sober and known as an un-clumsy person.
Food... Boiled sweets, mini sausage rolls, pretzels and other solid snacks are allowed when the vehicle is moving. Biscuits, oaty breakfast bars and "dusty" crisps [ones with excessive flavouring] are not. The simple reason being that sticky crumbs and sticky fingers make a sticky car. Most foods are acceptable when the car is parked, however, experimental eating is not allowed... as a specific example chicken nuggets dipped in McDonald's milkshake [yes this is an example of something that happened in my car]. All food must be shared with the driver.
Directions. In most cases when going somewhere new I will use satnav. If, however, you are giving directions and you do not know your left from your right, then hand signals will be required. It will also be acceptable to use the name of the person on that side of the car instead... e.g. "Turn Bob here" Bob being the driver, this would mean turn right. Or "Turn Kate here" Kate being the passenger, this would mean turn left. [Bonus points if you got my little joke there.]
Music, unless I'm in a very good mood is my choice. This is usually Kiss FM during the day and Magic at night. I like modern music but after 8pm it just sounds like noise on Kiss. Moaning about my music when you're getting a free lift will result in me letting you out of the car... if you're lucky I may even stop it first.
The final rule is... rules can be amended and/or added at my discretion so good behaviour is advised at all times.
While I'm not precious about my car, I'm not going to take any crap from anyone in it. It's do as I say, not as I do. So there are unwritten rules in my car... although I may have to change that so that I can easily stop arguments.
Although the international law of "shotgun" is commonly accepted... follow this link if you're unfamiliar... this is not the case in my car. I have declared it independent and therefore do not have to adhere to these rules... apart from the pirate clause, that sounds awesome. So to summarise, non-pirate seat quibbling - I will pick the least irritating person to sit next to me... this may mean you have to sit in the back even if you're the only passenger.
Drinks with sports lids are allowed. Fast food cups are allowed but only when the car is stationary and the person holding it must be sober and known as an un-clumsy person.
Food... Boiled sweets, mini sausage rolls, pretzels and other solid snacks are allowed when the vehicle is moving. Biscuits, oaty breakfast bars and "dusty" crisps [ones with excessive flavouring] are not. The simple reason being that sticky crumbs and sticky fingers make a sticky car. Most foods are acceptable when the car is parked, however, experimental eating is not allowed... as a specific example chicken nuggets dipped in McDonald's milkshake [yes this is an example of something that happened in my car]. All food must be shared with the driver.
Directions. In most cases when going somewhere new I will use satnav. If, however, you are giving directions and you do not know your left from your right, then hand signals will be required. It will also be acceptable to use the name of the person on that side of the car instead... e.g. "Turn Bob here" Bob being the driver, this would mean turn right. Or "Turn Kate here" Kate being the passenger, this would mean turn left. [Bonus points if you got my little joke there.]
Music, unless I'm in a very good mood is my choice. This is usually Kiss FM during the day and Magic at night. I like modern music but after 8pm it just sounds like noise on Kiss. Moaning about my music when you're getting a free lift will result in me letting you out of the car... if you're lucky I may even stop it first.
The final rule is... rules can be amended and/or added at my discretion so good behaviour is advised at all times.
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