Rules To Live By

We have flat rules up in our kitchen, not as extreme as Sheldon's roommate agreement, just amusing things. If anyone brings chocolate or sweets in to the building they become our property. All food cooked by us must be responded to with "oooo"s and "aaah"s and positive comments... regardless of its quality. There are lots of random ones but I'm thinking of the more practical life lessons I would really liked to have known before hand.

🚌 When travelling on the bus alone... always take the single seat behind the driver. If this is not available and you are capable of standing, do so in the corner of the wheelchair/pushchair space. If these options are not viable then choose wisely... an easily escapable space or somewhere you wont be spotted. There's always one crazy on the bus... and they will always try and make you their friend.

🛒 Supermarket shopping on a Saturday... only do it before 8am or after 7pm. No exceptions. The volume of loud children and worn out parents is way too high to make for a calm visit.

💰 Poundland, 99p Store, Poundworld etc etc... Bargains everywhere! Never buy generic washing products. You may be able to get two bottles of washing up liquid for 99p but this doesn't mean you should. Splash out the extra and get one bottle of Fairy for 99p instead. Also, just because it's £1 or less doesn't mean you need it, even if it is a bargain.

🥘 Learn how to cook at least two out-of-the-ordinary things perfectly. You never know when cracking out a special meal might be to your advantage.

🌊 Don't be pretentious and have bottled water in the UK. If it's still it has only been filtered better and half your food will have tap water in it. You've survived this long on it... you can save yourself £5 and have a jug of it.

🎉 Life is short, do all the things you want to when you get the chance.

👠 Don't wear your best shoes to chain pubs, the floors are 85% sticky and 15% dust. This is an accurate portrayal of their "carpet" if the pub has been open for more than a year.

👡 Socks and sandals are for the under 4s and the over 80s, in between that, only ironically for fancy dress.

🍴 Food tastes better with all the trimming. Unless you're allergic to something always try a meal the way it was intended.

📢 If you're having an "interesting" conversation in public have the decency to speak loud enough that everyone can hear you simply by stopping their own conversation. There is nothing more frustrating than knowing that a conversation is good but only being able to hear it if you join the table.

🍟 "Would you like to upgrade that to a large?" Yes, everything is better when it's large.

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