My Room 101, It's No Room With A View
My room 101 will be in the darkest recesses of the world... so somewhere near Croydon.
Now... I was looking at a list of things that celebs have put in room 101 to get some inspiration... you know, just in case I had blocked something out of my mind for being too obnoxious. I saw pointless science on the list... it must stay out of the depths... I love it. Don't get me wrong, it is horrendously annoying that people get paid to research it but I love the way it makes me annoyed and I can have discussions with my friends about why scientists didn't just use common sense.
My first choice is probably going to be reality TV programs. I have watched my fair share of Big Brother and X Factor type things, but I don't think I've ever been able to watch a whole episode without cringing. I hate watching other people's awkwardness. Why would you go on the sort of programmes that requires a talent if you don't have any? Why would you want to get locked in a house with a bunch of people that have been specifically picked to be complete opposites for controversy? And possibly most confusing... why does everyone still watch?! This one at least would fit right in in deepest darkest Croydon.
Next choice is naming things. In our town they renamed one of the stations. The two stations in the town were called Coulsdon South and Smitham. Nothing wrong with either of those but when there were some changes it was requested that a better name be found for Smitham as it was no longer used for the area... Although there is a school of the same name just down the road. The signs and maps [the last time I checked] still say "Coulsdon Town [formerly Smitham]. So no doubt at some point they will be changed again to say "Coulsdon Town". What a waste of money... and that's not even taking in to account the amount people get paid to come up with some of these random name changes. What happened to the sensible idea... "You know what, if we call it Coulsdon Town people will get it confused with Coulsdon South... let's just leave it as it is and spend the money making it more accessible for people." Room 101 it.
Fortune tellers would have to be my third choice. If you want to go and visit them that is entirely up to you but please don't bother telling me about it. Everyone I know who has been, has told me what was predicted... now there is a perfectly easy way to be a successful fortune teller... tell the person something they want to hear and they will unconsciously make it happen. Tell them who they'll marry and they'll find that person, that to me is not your destined future, that is suggestion. Cast them out... what might we all miss if we we're only looking for one thing.
There are lots of other things I'd put in there... online ragers... the people that labels saying "Warning may contains nuts" and others, were made for... people who can't use their inside voice... the convention that women should wear heals... that clump of tissues that come out at the end of a box... spiders that don't listen to you when you tell them to stay away or you'll swat them... just to name a few.
Now... I was looking at a list of things that celebs have put in room 101 to get some inspiration... you know, just in case I had blocked something out of my mind for being too obnoxious. I saw pointless science on the list... it must stay out of the depths... I love it. Don't get me wrong, it is horrendously annoying that people get paid to research it but I love the way it makes me annoyed and I can have discussions with my friends about why scientists didn't just use common sense.
My first choice is probably going to be reality TV programs. I have watched my fair share of Big Brother and X Factor type things, but I don't think I've ever been able to watch a whole episode without cringing. I hate watching other people's awkwardness. Why would you go on the sort of programmes that requires a talent if you don't have any? Why would you want to get locked in a house with a bunch of people that have been specifically picked to be complete opposites for controversy? And possibly most confusing... why does everyone still watch?! This one at least would fit right in in deepest darkest Croydon.
Next choice is naming things. In our town they renamed one of the stations. The two stations in the town were called Coulsdon South and Smitham. Nothing wrong with either of those but when there were some changes it was requested that a better name be found for Smitham as it was no longer used for the area... Although there is a school of the same name just down the road. The signs and maps [the last time I checked] still say "Coulsdon Town [formerly Smitham]. So no doubt at some point they will be changed again to say "Coulsdon Town". What a waste of money... and that's not even taking in to account the amount people get paid to come up with some of these random name changes. What happened to the sensible idea... "You know what, if we call it Coulsdon Town people will get it confused with Coulsdon South... let's just leave it as it is and spend the money making it more accessible for people." Room 101 it.
Fortune tellers would have to be my third choice. If you want to go and visit them that is entirely up to you but please don't bother telling me about it. Everyone I know who has been, has told me what was predicted... now there is a perfectly easy way to be a successful fortune teller... tell the person something they want to hear and they will unconsciously make it happen. Tell them who they'll marry and they'll find that person, that to me is not your destined future, that is suggestion. Cast them out... what might we all miss if we we're only looking for one thing.
There are lots of other things I'd put in there... online ragers... the people that labels saying "Warning may contains nuts" and others, were made for... people who can't use their inside voice... the convention that women should wear heals... that clump of tissues that come out at the end of a box... spiders that don't listen to you when you tell them to stay away or you'll swat them... just to name a few.
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