How To Survive Halloween

I'm notoriously bah hum bug about Halloween, mainly because where I used to live it was an excuse for "troublemakers" to cause trouble. The most sensible thing was to get home as quickly as you could and sit in darkness until the seasonal craziness switched to Christmas overnight.

So the weekend is here again, what is a girl to do when faced with a few days of trying to avoid trick or treaters and drunk idiots in costumes? It will come as no surprise to you that I had a few thoughts!

Films


I don't enjoy horror films. And probably for the opposite reason that has popped into your head... I just don't find them scary. If I'm going to watch something in the horror genre then it's going to be funny. This can be films that were made deliberately funny, or ones that took themselves so seriously that they became funny.

My top ten favourite funny horror movies


The Addams Family - On bad days, Wednesday is my spirit animal. On fabulous days it's Morticia. I would also accept this in the TV section of course, but I can't decide between original or new!


Beetlejuice - The story of freelance bio-exorcist, Beetlejuice... well, maybe not! The mild mannered Maitlands have died, and now they have to try and get the ghastly new owners out before their home is ruined.


Cursed - 2005 film written by Wes Craven, and starring Christina Ricci. It has been a long time since I saw this film... but I remember really enjoying it. But then who doesn't love a good werewolf story?

Ghostbusters - If there's something strange in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call?


Hocus Pocus - Another Halloween classic that I haven't watched in ages... but I love Bette Midler.


Scream 4 - My favourite of the Screams, I'm not sure why, perhaps because it feels more like a proper movie than two and three did.

Shaun Of The Dead - You've got some red on you! Watch it... watch it this instant. Then watch Hot Fuzz. Yes I know it isn't scary, but it's damned good.

Tucker & Dale vs Evil - This is the sort of story I had always wanted to see happen. It's your typical horror story, but told from the opposite point of view... well that's what you think it is. If you don't end up loving Tucker & Dale and their buffoonery then there might be something wrong with you.

You're Next - This slasher film is just soooo ridiculous yet fun. Erin is the resourceful sort of woman we should be taking tips from when the zombie apocalypse comes. Despite her survivalist techniques being used against murderers in the film they would translate well to zombies.

Zombeavers - What can I say about Zombeavers? This gif sums up why you should watch it.


TV


I love a themed special, and I've mentioned some of my Christmas ones before. Halloween ones are slightly more difficult to nail down as some of them just involve some dressing up.

Angel and Buffy you can probably watch regardless of specific episodes.

Below are some of my favourite series with their supposed Halloween themed episodes... Just binge watch the whole series... you know you want to!

Angel: Life Of The Party S05E05.

Bones: Mummy In The Maze S03E05, Resurrection In The Remains S11E05.

Buffy: Halloween S02E06, Fear Itself S04E04, Hush S04E10, All The Way S06E06.

Castle: Vampire Weekend S02E06, Demons S04E06.

Chuck: Chuck vs The Aisle Of Terror S04E06.

CSI: Chick Chop Flick Shop S08E05.

CSI NY: Boo S04E06.

Eerie Indiana: America's Scariest Home Video S01E05.

Futurama: The Honking

How I Met Your Mother: Slutty Pumpkin S01E06, Canning Randy S06E07, Slutty Pumpkin Returns S07E08.

Kim Possible: October 31st S01E14.

My Family: Friday the 31st S04E08.

QI: Death D5, Horrible H7.

The Big Bang Theory: The Middle Earth Paradigm S01E06, The Good Guy Fluctuation S05E07, The Holographic Excitation S06E05.

The Simpsons: Treehouse Of Terror


Books


So books is a tricky one, for me horror is such a broad term. You can have crime thrillers that are essentially horror. Sci-fi horror too. Plain old horror horror. As with the films though, I like some amusement...

Night Of The Living Trekkies - This sci-fi/zombie/comedy/adventure follows a group of rag-tag Trekkies getting together for the fifth annual GulfCon (billed as the “largest Starfleet Convention in the western Gulf Coast region”).

Our heroes are dressed in homemade uniforms and armed with prop phasers, but soon find themselves defending their hotel and convention centre against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Suddenly, all of their useless knowledge about particle physics and old Star Trek episodes has genuine real-world applications! And while hotel employees and regular civilians are dying left and right, our Trekkies summon strength and courage by emulating their favorite starship-voyaging characters.

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies - So I waffled about watching P&P&Z when it came out, despite my feeling for Mr Collins, you should definitely watch it. But more importantly you should read the book.

You should probably also read lots of the other Quirk Book books... which include Night Of The Living Trekkies, above. Lots of fun to be had from their tomes... including Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children that just came out in the cinema, and is well worth a watch.

Death seems like an appropriate topic for this time of year, so the obvious stop is Terry Pratchett. You should definitely pick up Mort, Reaper Man, Soul Music, Hogfather or Thief Of Time.

Something that I have really wanted to do for ages is going back and looking at the origins of the vampire tales. I might not have an entirely comprehensive list, but looking over a few places these seem to be generally agreed upon starters.

You should be able to get them all free or very cheap on the internet. I think it would make for some very interesting reading.

1748 The Vampire (German Poem) by Heinrich August Ossenfelder
1773 Lenore by  Gottfried August Bürger
1797 Bride of Corinth by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
1801 Thalaba The Destroyer by Robert Southey
1810 The Vampyre by John Stagg
1810 The Spectral Horseman by Percy Bysshe Shelley
1847 Varney The Vampire by James Malcolm Rymer and Thomas Peckett Prest
1871 Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu

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I feel like "Film, TV, Books" could become my holy trinity!

I've already watched a fair few of the episodes above, Shaun Of The Dead, Scream 4 and Goosebumps. I haven't managed to do any reading yet though... don't think I can cope with letting my brain imagine scary stuff this close to bedtime!

I hope you've all got your own fun Halloweens planned. May it be filled with candy and cheesy outfits. But I'd like to leave you with a reminder. Dressing yourself up is great, dressing your pets has its ups and downs...


Dogs usually always love a bit of fun...



Cats will almost always want to murder you.

Happy Halloween!


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